Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, lived a princess on a long island, till one day an alien viking broke into her personal space and transported her into a strange new world where the inhabitants spoke in a strange tongue and ate herring and caviar from tubes for breakfast on something like grity cardboard, and I hope this gif loads pretty soon cause this story gets very erotic and this page is basically rated PG...Sweden

Moose on the Loose!
Symbol of Sweden, thanks to the German tourists that keep stealing the Moose Crossing signs.  Actually it's not a moose but an elk (älg), but their slogan wouldn't rhyme then.

Jag älskar Janne!  Remember the Chef on the Muppets?  Swedish men can cook :-) and a lot more too.  Alright, so that wasn't the first thing that entered your mind about Sweden, but they do have more than a fascinating archive of "artistic" movies, massages, meatballs, and blondes...
SWEDEN: The Land of the Midnight Sun (Link: R.I.P.)

(So in the winter, does that make it the Land of the Midday Moon?)

 

CLIMATE

Before moving here, my friends and colleagues were very concerned about what my life might be like among the polar bears. I'll admit that I had a lot of misconceptions about Sweden too.  Turns out that the weather in the Stockholm area is almost identical to what I just left behind on Long Island.  Anybody need a dozen unused pairs of thermal underwear?
 
MY WEATHER PAGE for Long Island, New York
Whether the weather is good,
    Or whether the weather is not;
    Whether the weather is cold,
    Or whether the weather is hot;
    We'll weather the weather,
    Whatever the weather,
    Whether we like it or not!
MY WHETHER PAGE for Stockholm, Sweden
(In Fahrenheit! Thank you!)
 

TRAVEL

I could tell you about all the fascinating Viking sites and castles I've already visited in Sweden. But this place brought tears to Janne and my eyes as we relived our youth, and also realized just how old we really are.

Internet C@fé & PC Museum

The place to be, on or off line. If you can't make it to the west coast of Sweden, surf on in the regular way. The Personal Computer Museum made it into the Guinness Book of Records because the museum has over 250 different personal computers - the world's largest collection. Too bad you threw out your old Radio Shack TRS-80 or 8-inch floppies. This is the place where they could rest in peace (or pieces).

UNPLUGGED TV

I have had to make more than a few adjustments since moving to Sweden. Like most people addicted to the web, I have little time for a "monitor" that I can't interact with or click on. But everyone has one or two programs that connects them to society at large and helps us to make conversation when we find ourselves stuck at work or with relatives, having to make small talk with non-computer types.

Swedish TV does have a few American soaps but I really miss All My Children and the misadventures of Erica Kane. I'm not proud, but I have been following this show since it began, in 1972, I think. Fortunately, I have found a suitable replacement. It doesn't move quite as fast as Erica changes husbands, but I've found this real family, that allows us to peek into their daily lives, to be fascinating. It always leaves me hungry for more...

My favorite online SOAP (R.I.P. link)

I haven't really been a fan of Jeopardy in years, but they do have it in Sweden too.
The questions are a bit out of my range here:

Answer: Thor
Question: Which Viking god was Thursday named after?

Answer: A Swede
Question: Who invented the zipper? Who invented dynamite? Who felt guilty about it and created the Nobel Peace Prize? Who then invented the safety match so it wouldn't go off accidently? Who invented the Volvo (and the Saab)? Who invented the mouse? Who invented Token Ring (and made a fortune from IBM)? Who invented the orgy (the number 6 in Swedish is sex)? Who invented cheap furniture for Americans (IKEA)? Who invented oxygen (sheesh, we can't even breath without them!)? Who invented the propeller? Who invented the ball bearing? Who invented those weird 3-sided Tetra packs (good for coffee cream)? Who invented the greatest advertizing scam in history for selling the generic vodka Absolut? Who was Greta Garbo, Ingrid Bergman, Ingmar Bergman, Britt Ekland, Maud Adams (early 007 girl), Max Von Sydow, Ann Margret, Anita Ekberg, Björn Borg, ABBA, Ace of Base? Etc.

Also I don't speak enough Swedish yet.

MARRIAGE

Långholmen Prison  My wedding celebration.

Getting married in a foreign country is a facinating experience, especially when the ceremony is performed in a language you don't understand. Janne was kind enough to nudge me at the moment I was to say "Ja."  What I didn't realize is that under Swedish law, all property becomes a joint asset, meaning divorce is a 50-50 split, regardless of what you brought into the marriage.  In other words, I ain't ever getting divorced.

WEIRD

Being in the Land of the Midnight Sun, I don't worry much about going out at night. But for the rest of you - some facts about this blood-sucking, fiend of the night. True, it prefers goats, but it's been reported to have attacked a few humans when it gets really hard up. This Princeton research group separates facts from fiction, and presents a variety of theories, from Alien origins to the goverment's conspiracy and cover-up...

CHUPACABRA

 
 

LUKE SUM IPSE PATREM TE
I have to admit, I'm speechless when it comes to describing this homepage. It's definately weird though and worth exploring in detail, so take your time (and don't forget to come back here!). The really strange thing for me is that this guy looks exactly like Janne did... two decades ago. And since their sense of humor is equally unique and weird, I think maybe Janne cloned himself. Wouldn't surprise me - they're Swedes.

FOOD I MISS

The cuisine in Sweden is excellent but what good is all this Swedish Sushi (lox) without bagels??? If you are an entrepreneur in the food services business, we are in great need of delis, diners, REAL pizza parlors that serve baked ziti too, and of course, bagel shops.  Hershey chocolate is also desperately needed.
 

JELLY BELLY - Gourmet Jelly Beans
The family that owns and runs this company may one day rule the world. These may appear as harmless jelly beans at first glance, but with 40 flavors ranging from Blueberry to Watermelon, they soon become an obsession. No sooner do you finish savoring the Cantaloupe flavor when you feel the need to follow it with an A&W Root Beer flavor or Very Cherry (watch out for the jalapeño - whoa!). Their website does offer some relief by displaying all 40 jelly beans with the identifying flavor in 14 different languages. How else would someone from Saudi Arabia know what flavor cotton candy is? Besides the U.S., Jelly Belly is now sold in 35 other countries, one of which is NOT Sweden.


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