Custom Scrabble Box

PLAY ON WORDS

  • ARBITRATOR: A cook who leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds.
  • Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  • AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do.
  • Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
  • BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage.
  • BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with.
  • Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by men.
  • Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
  • CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate.
  • COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
  • ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living.
  • Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  • EYEDROPPER: A clumsy opthalmologist.
  • Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  • Flatulence (n.), A smelly British apartment.
  • Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
  • Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
  • HEROES: What a guy in a boat does.
  • LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money.
  • Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
  • MISTY: How golfers create divots.
  • Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
  • Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
  • PARADOX: Two physicians.
  • PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
  • PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm.
  • Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.
  • POLARIZE: What penguins see with.
  • PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
  • Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
    proctologists.
  • RELIEF: What trees do in the spring.
  • RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.
  • SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.
  • SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official.
  • Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
  • Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

Obscure Scientific Conversion Factors

  • Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
  • 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton
  • 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
  • Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
  • Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
  • Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
  • 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 Lite year
  • 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
  • 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
  • Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
  • 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
  • Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
  • Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
  • 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
  • 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
  • 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
  • 1000 ccs of wet socks = 1 literhosen
  • 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
  • 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
  • 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
  • 10 millipedes = 1 centipede
  • 10 monologs = 5 dialogues
  • 2 monograms = 1 diagram
  • 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
  • 2 snake eyes = 1 paradise
  • 2 wharves = 1 paradox
  • 52 cards = 1 decacards (or 10 cards = 1 decacards)