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 The honeymoon night begins. Fellow inmates on Cell Block B cheered as the groom was strip searched one last time following the reception. Cell 119 is the first to knowingly house opposite sex prisoners. Mari was later quoted as saying, "They didn't get everything - Janne definitely had a concealed weapon." Prison guards surprised the happy couple with a set of handcuffs, which they found tucked under the pillow of the bottom bunk bed. The key however, has still not been located.
SOCIETY BRIEFS by Agneta von Schinkelby In the hopes of glimpsing the rich or infamous, a mob of gawking onlookers gathered outside the gates of Långholmen Prison (pronounced Longholmen - Long Island in English). This reporter had the opportunity to watch a select number of guests from outside the prison arriving for the wedding. Notable among these were the father of the groom, a former international mobster, wanted by authorities all over the world but never convicted. He arrived with his wife, the rumored main force behind most of the racketeering in the Torg (market squares) throughout the small towns in Sweden. One of the leaders of the Norwegian clock syndicate, and possibly a distant relative of the groom, arrived ostentatiously in a stretch limo with his wife, former Scandinavian Playmate of Lekegutten (Playboy). The infamous ALF, karate-man and former sprinter from Trollhättan (Troll’s cap), and his wife doubled as both guests and body guards for the nervous Norwegians. Some local thugs made a discreet appearance as well. One of the SSS (Super Salesman Syndicate), a former colleague of the groom, known as the "Of-course-you-pay-for-the-air-you-breathe" cartel, was accompanied by his wife, an insurance sales woman, well known among Swiss bankers. Other SSS guests, already familiar to society watchers, were two well known women from Stockholm's night-scene: the sultry Lilla Lotta, whose entrance into society was paved by the sale of antiques of reputable origin (pieces even now are still displayed in the Royal Castle), and race track organizer Calamity Carin, who refused to let the valet park her magnificent hunk of a horse. Representing the Göteborg branch of this microcosmic crime wave, the sister of the groom and his brother-in-law arrived in style. The highly recognizable Rödluvan (little red riding hood), as you all know, is one of the brains behind the scenes of west coast social security scam. Her young husband is reputed to control the flow of illegal sales of literature and music in that historic city. Just as this reporter was about to be ejected from the front gates, she managed to catch a glimpse of three other guests, gaining entry to the reception disguised as waiters and a waitress. It is believed that they are the Värsting Trio (the worst of Stockholm’s underground), as of yet the not convicted key components of the hacker scene in Sweden. The bride’s family was noticeably not in attendance, most reportedly doing hard time in the U.S., while the rest were denied entrance into Sweden after an incident broke out during a routine customs check at Arlanda Airport. In a dramatic scene, the brother and his fiancee surprised Swedish authorities by out running them. Unconfirmed reports tracked them in their triathlonic escape as they ran to the west coast, swam across the North Sea to Oslo, and then stole two bicycles before disappearing into the Norwegian wood. Unfortunately the camera used to photograph these guests was damaged during an incident with some guards who claimed that they accidentally bumped into the photographer three times. The photographer is recovering at Karolinska Sjukhuset (hospital). |
